I made a decision the other day to become less lonely. I know that sounds ridiculous, but for me, loneliness is a big thing. I tend to be a very lonely person and not very many people know that. But I fight loneliness every single day. I can be in a crowded room with all the people I know and love and still feel completely alone. So, I've decided that I'm going to work on all my lonely causes: separation from God and isolation from people. I know you guys are probably thinking I'm nuts, and that I've fallen off the deep end, but I really want to be happy. I really want to feel a lot more whole and a lot less lonely. So, I've got to start somewhere, and I've got to change some things because this has been a huge problem for me for a long time, and I've finally opened my eyes to see that I'm causing a lot of it myself. So, this blog series is going to be about my journey through loneliness. And below is a quick preview of some of the things I'll be discussing:
There was once a prince. Yes, a prince. This prince was different. He had a strong faith in God and was kind and caring. He loved everyone and would do anything to help them. He had all the privileges of being royal: sat on the throne next to the king, helped with the armies, and knew all that was going on in the kingdom. He was the wisest of the wise, and the bravest of the brave, but one day he decided to give it all away because he thought his chances to help the people were better out in the world living like they were. He moved far away from home to a place where no one knew of him. he left his sparkling crown and royal courters to live the life of a servant. He went from splendid meals and plush beds to not having a home and finding his own food. His life changed dramatically.
He humbled himself and lived the life of an average person. He became rejected and threatened because of his believes. He saw a world full of struggling people and wanted to share his God with them. But they didn't accept him. They threw him in jail when he did nothing wrong. Even still, his faith didn't waver. He was kind to the people who beat him. He loved them, and he prayed for God to forgive them. He challenged people with his words and made them rethink Christianity. But, one day after he was thrown into jail, the people had a choice. They could either release him, the one who didn't do anything, or they could release a thief who had stolen from various people in their community. "Release the thief!" they shouted. So the righteous man who gave it all away because he saw a chance to save people was tied to a cross and left to die.
This incredible prince gave everything up so he could change people's lives and make them rethink the world. He got many people to follow God, and he showed the world what Christianity is supposed to look like. His name? Jesus.
As we live our lives, we should think of the prince who gave everything up to help people. We should model our lives after Him, so that the world sees God in us. So when people look at Christians, they don't see the word hypocrite wrote in big letters on our foreheads. We should live like Christ. Like the four college students in the movie One Nation Under God said, "We should stop acting the Christian life and start living it." It's time for Christians to wake up and realize that the way we live our lives needs to change.
You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled himself before God and died a criminal's death on a cross. -Philippians 2 5-7
This is one of my favorite poems. But I don't just like it because it's a great poem and I like the topic. I like this poem because it's about living for God and God alone. It's about how living for God is the only worth while thing to live for. But the most amazing thing about this poem is the author. Charles Thomas Studd didn't just write this. He lived it. He spent his life spreading God's word and working for the eternal Kingdom. When things got hard, he didn't just give up. No, he looked to God. He got down on his knees and asked God to give him the strength and wisdom to continue. He lived for Christ because he believed that was to be the only thing that truly matters.
I pray that someday people will look at my life and see something similar to what we see when we look at C.T. Studd's life.
I have grown up in an everybody knows everybody little town where no one has secrets and the cats belong to the whole neighborhood. My life in elementary was composed of playing four-square at recess and yelling at my best friends across the room during class while the teacher was trying to talk. I remember the naps and the time outs, but I mostly smile at all the laughs and the fantastic memories. I was Mom's little tomboy and Daddy's little princess. Junior high was a mash up of hormones, late nights talking about boys, and cultivating my love for learning. And that's when high school hit. My little insecure mind was thrust into a world it had never tasted before. I started to grow up and experience the real world, a world less protected by my parents and older brother, a world entirely my own and yet entirely not. With new challenges and new mistakes afoot, I had to learn how to swim without my floaties, and I learned so much, and became someone I truly love.
Call me old fashioned, but I am the kind of girl who loves polaroid cameras, and record players. I love dancing under the stars at night with my boyfriend, and singing old hymns at the top of my lungs while driving down the highway. I love taking my dogs to play in the park and running on crisp winter mornings. I love writing stories and leaving them unfinished so the characters never die and the inspiration never ends. I love late nights and early mornings. I love reading paper books and watching old, silent, black and white films. I love old souls and kind people. And I love that all of these little things make me who I am.
Basically, I am a teen. Just like every other teen out there. I face numerous challenges everyday. I have many hopes and dreams, many fears and insecurities that I let hold me back. There is so much that goes on in my life. Sometimes it is a struggle. Life is hard, and that is what this blog is about.